Mike Epps Called the Cops on Himself

Mike Epps Called the Cops on Himself


>>GOOD TO SEE YOU JIMMY. >>Jimmy: WOULD YOUR HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS BE SURPRISED YOU WROTE A BOOK. >>OH, MAN THEY PROBABLY HOPE THEY AIN’T IN IT.>>Jimmy: “NAP TOWN” IS PART OF INDIANAPOLIS OR IS THAT ITS NICKNAME FOR INDIANAPOLIS ITSELF. >>IT IS, WE CALL IT NAP TOWN BECAUSE PEOPLE BE SLEEPING ON US. YOU KNOW. >>Jimmy: YOU GREW UP IN A VERY ROUGH NEIGHBORHOOD?>>I DID I GREW UP ON THE EAST SIDE OF INDIANAPOLIS. WE HAD SOME CHARACTERISTICS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD. >>Jimmy: LIKE WHO?>>WE HAD A THREE-LEGGED DOG, I DIDN’T KNOW HIS NAME. THERE WAS A GUY IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD NAMED SHOE PRKS OO THAT USED TO HE STOLE A LOT AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD. ONE TIME TRUE STORY THERE WERE SOME KIDS TRAPPED IN A FIRE AND THE FIRE WAS SO BAD THAT THE FIRE DEPARTMENT SHOWED YOU AND TOLD THE PARENTS THE FIRE WAS TOO BAD THEY COULDN’T GO IN AND SAVE THE OTHER KID AND SHOE POO WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND HE SAID NO, NO, AND THE COPS TRIED TO GRAB THEM AND HE SNATCHED AWAY FROM THE KIDS RAN UP IN THE HOUSE EVERYBODY QUIET, SCARED, THEY LIKE OH, MAN HE’S GOING TO LOSE HIS LIFE. ABOUT TEN MINUTES LATER HE CAME OUT WITH ALL THREE OF THEM KIDS ON HIS BACK.>>Jimmy: WOW. >>MADE THE FIRE DEPARTMENT LOOK 40S HORRIBLE. HE WAS BREATHING HARD,NO, THERE’S MORE PEOPLE, HE WENT BACK IN THE HOUSE, THIS TIME HE WAS GOING IN THERE TO STEAL SOME STUFF [ LAUGHTER ]>>Jimmy: I HOPE HE GOT SOME STUFF.>>YEAH HE SEEN SOME STUFF HE WANTED WHILE HE WAS HELPING THE KIDS OUT THE HOUSE. HA,HA.>>Jimmy: I MENTIONED YOU CALLED 911 ON YOURSELF WHAT CIRCUMSTANCE COULD THAT POSSIBLY BE?>>WELL YOU KNOW BEFORE I GOT INTO SHOWBIZ I WAS IN A COUPLE CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES HERE AND THERE AND I WAS YOUNG ABOUT 15, 16, WE HAD BROKE IN A HOUSE, YOU KNOW, ME AND A FRIEND OF MINE. THIS WAS IN THE SUBURBS WE DIDN’T BREAK INTO INNER CITY HOUSES BECAUSE WASN’T NOTHING IN THEM. SO WE BROKE IN A HOUSE AND GOT ALL OF THE VCRs THIS WAS DURING VCR TIME. WE HAD CABLE BOXES XD MICROWAVE STUFF AT THE DOOR. WE WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE. THE WHOLE TIME WE WAS THERE THERE WAS A GERMANY AN SHEPARD IN THE HOUSE THAT WASN’T BOTHERING US. HE WAS WATCHING US. WE WAS PATTING HIM. WE GOT TO THE DOOR HE START GROWLING. I SAID MAN IT’S ME. SO HE CHASED US, ME AND MY FRIEND RAN UPSTAIRS INTO THE BEDROOM AN DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. UM, SO, I CALLED THE POLICE. [ LAUGHTER ] SAID I BROKE IN SOMEBODY’S HOUSE Y’ALL NEED TO COME AND GET ME RIGHT NOW.>>Jimmy: IS THIS McGRUFF THE CRIME DOG. WHAT’S GOING ON? WOW THAT IS SOMETHING ELSE. AND ALL WAS WELL.>>ALL WAS WELL. >>Jimmy: DIDN’T COMEDY SAVE YOU FROM PRISON REALLY?>>IT REALLY DID. YOU KNOW, COMEDY HAS REALLY, REALLY SAVED MY LIFE IN GENERAL BECAUSE I COULDN’T KEEP A JOB. I DIDN’T GRADUATE. I TRIED TO GO TO THE MILITARY. AFTER I TOOK THAT TEST COULDN’T GET THE RECRUITER BACK ON THE PHONE. COMEDY REALLY DID SAVE MY LIFE,LIF LIFE,JIMMY. >>Jimmy: THAT’S AMAZING. >>IT IS. IT WAS A JOB A WAY TO MAKE MONEY. A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE IN SHOWBIZ BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE, I’M IN IT BECAUSE I NEED DISH WASHING LIQUID AND BREAD AND PAY MY BILLS. >>Jimmy: HOW MANY KIDS YOU HAVE?>>I HAVE FOUR BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS. >>Jimmy: SO WHAT IF ONE WAS TO BRING HOME A YOUNG GENTLEMAN LIKE YOU WERE AT THAT AGE, WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND?>>WELL THAT REALLY HAPPENED. MY DAUGHTER BROUGHT A GUY IN THE HOUSE THAT LOOKED JUST LIKE ME AND I TOLD HER PLEASE DON’T BRING ME IN THIS HOUSE [ LAUGHTER ] BECAUSE I SAID, IF YOU ANYTHING LIKE I WAS, I’M GONNA KILL YOU. SO I MEAN, I’M FORTUNATE, I SMOKE A LITTLE MARIJUANA HERE AND THERE AND I DIDN’T HAVE NONE THAT NIGHT AND I WAS LOOKING AT THIS KID AND SAID I’M GOING TO TRY SOMETHING, GOD FORGIVE ME, I SAID YOU SMOKE WEED, HE SAID NO, I SAID OKAY. I KNEW HE WAS LYING. BEFORE I COULD GET TO THE DOOR HE SAID I KNOW WHO GOT IT. I SAID OH, YEAH. HE SAID I KNOW WHO GOT IT. I SAID GO GET IT. I WATCHED HIM WALK OUT THE FRONT DOOR AND RIGHT BACK IN THE HOUSE. HEY HOLD UP. [ LAUGHTER ]>>Jimmy: SOUNDS LIKE YOU HIT IT OFF. >>I DID. SON-IN-LAW. I TOLD MY DAUGHTER, I LIKE THAT ONE GUY THAT WAS OVER HERE.>>Jimmy: I KNOW WHEN YOU’RE DOING STAND UP YOU DO IMPRESSIONS. YOU ALSO DO, AND THIS I DID NOT KNOW, SOUND EFFECTS. >>YEAH. >>Jimmy: WHAT KIND OF SOUND EFFECTS DO YOU DO. >>WELL YOU TELL ME WHAT THIS IS — ZZZZZ ZZZZ. >>Jimmy: DENTIST DRILL?>>NO IT’S A VIBRATOR.>>Jimmy: I KNEW I WAS DOING SOMETHING WRONG. [ LAUGHTER ] NO WONDER MY WIFE DOESN’T WANT ANY PART OF ME. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT DOESN’T GO IN THE TEETH? OH, INTERESTING.>>GOT TO REACH RIGHT OVER IN THAT DRAWER. >>Jimmy: OKAY LET ME GUESS ANOTHER ONE. LET ME SEE IF I COULD GET ONE. SQUIRT BOTTLE.>>YEAH,YEAH,. SQUIRT BOTTLE. >>Jimmy: SEE I DID DO THAT ONE.>>YOU DID DO THAT ONE, YOU KNOW. SO. >>Jimmy: ARE THERE ANY REALLY OBSCURE ONES THAT MAYBE WE WOULDN’T KNOW?>>YEAH, IT WOULD BE SOMETHING THAT YOU GUYS WOULDN’T KNOW. THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. [ LAUGHTER ]>>Jimmy: THAT I DON’T KNOW.>>OPENING A WE’D WEED BAG WITH THE SON-IN-LAW.>>Jimmy: WELL OBVIOUSLY THIS IS A VERY FUNNY MAN.

local_offerevent_note September 13, 2019

account_box Branden Gomez


local_offer

100 thoughts on “Mike Epps Called the Cops on Himself”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *